• Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
  • Me: Oh ok cool
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: This is a febreze commercial right
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh

How to murder

  • Step 1: put the knife right in
  • Step 2: take the knife on out
  • Step 3: put the knife back in
  • Step 4: and twist it all about
  • Step 5: do the hokey pokey and he's probably dead.

ayaalhajri:

Inktober days 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20

(via arupugrin)

Timestamp: 1413865317

ayaalhajri:

Inktober days 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20

(via arupugrin)

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—

…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

(Source: bent-duck, via iguanamouth)

Timestamp: 1413865278

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—

…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

(Source: bent-duck, via iguanamouth)

lezachusetts:

mymodernmet:

In a tongue-in-cheek play on traditional newborn photos, Huntsville, Alabama-based photographer Jamie Clauss shot a series of humorous and adorable images featuring her married friends Jan and Chase Renegar and their cute dog named Snuggles.

Literally me

Timestamp: 1413864747

lezachusetts:

mymodernmet:

In a tongue-in-cheek play on traditional newborn photos, Huntsville, Alabama-based photographer Jamie Clauss shot a series of humorous and adorable images featuring her married friends Jan and Chase Renegar and their cute dog named Snuggles.

Literally me

  • *tries to draw badass art piece with movement and awesomeness*
  • *ends up drawing bust of character facing left*

(Source: lifeoflion, via satsujinn)

danglingthpider:

porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

(via iguanamouth)

I never realized how much I missed tormenting the Avatar.

(Source: otterbender, via romanticom)

Timestamp: 1413861629

I never realized how much I missed tormenting the Avatar.

(Source: otterbender, via romanticom)

frodofeels:

nymphs, spirits & dwellers of the deep | selkies

unlike her sister, the mermaid, she is never a half-anything; instead transforming on land, her true form visible only in the cold rushes of the sea. peaceful, tranquil, mysterious, she disappears into the depths of the ocean, both curious and cautious when encountering humans. her fable is often melancholy, for humankind fall in love with her beauty, and will keep her from her form. thus she remains entrapped, forever longing for the call of the sea, for her pinniped family. taken advantage of, the selkie mirrors the true depravity of humanity, her story whispered in the salt of the sea breeze, embellished in legend and myth.  

(via theflamboyantpedantic)

Timestamp: 1413861327

frodofeels:

nymphs, spirits & dwellers of the deep | selkies

unlike her sister, the mermaid, she is never a half-anything; instead transforming on land, her true form visible only in the cold rushes of the sea. peaceful, tranquil, mysterious, she disappears into the depths of the ocean, both curious and cautious when encountering humans. her fable is often melancholy, for humankind fall in love with her beauty, and will keep her from her form. thus she remains entrapped, forever longing for the call of the sea, for her pinniped family. taken advantage of, the selkie mirrors the true depravity of humanity, her story whispered in the salt of the sea breeze, embellished in legend and myth.  

(via theflamboyantpedantic)

  • ap student: hey im going to my ap class
  • ap student: ugh my ap textbook is SO heavy
  • ap student: ugh, im taking 7 AP classes
  • ap student: AP
  • ap student: listen to me
  • ap student: look at me
  • ap student: AP
  • ap student: IM SMART
  • ap student: LET ME READ YOU MY ENTIRE SCHEDULE SO THAT YOU CAN INHALE HOW INTELLIGENT I AM AND BREATHE IN HOW MUCH BETTER I AM THAN YOU
  • ap student: ap

abundanceofcalm:

spinsterprivilege:

stunningpicture:

Penguins on Phillip Island wear hand-knitted sweaters as part of their oil spill rehabilitation.

omg the penguin books sweater

Penguin. Books. Sweater. On. A. Penguin.

(via myfriendscallmekazzy)

Timestamp: 1413859181

abundanceofcalm:

spinsterprivilege:

stunningpicture:

Penguins on Phillip Island wear hand-knitted sweaters as part of their oil spill rehabilitation.

omg the penguin books sweater

Penguin. Books. Sweater. On. A. Penguin.

(via myfriendscallmekazzy)

myfriendscallmekazzy:

That escaled quickly

(Source: thespookymissioner)

birdloaf:

some drawings for a James and the Giant Peach cover i probably won’t use

(via grislyteeth)

Timestamp: 1413856565

birdloaf:

some drawings for a James and the Giant Peach cover i probably won’t use

(via grislyteeth)